I've finally figured out what has been chapping my ass about this whole pregnancy thing.
It's an unbelievably personal experience, and yet it's right out there for the world to see and examine and comment on. So far it's been mainly tame, but as I start to show, the more people feel the need to give advice, or call me "Mama", or constantly ask how I'm feeling.
I know that last one is out of concern and whatnot, but what are the odds that I'm going to tell them the truth?:
"Well, constipation is still a problem, and my nipples hurt like a mofo, and the baby's kicks are stronger now and make me want to vomit. I get migraines almost daily, and Tylenol doesn't help one bit. Oh, and I'm tired all the time. All the time. Thanks for asking!"
What I actually say (one thousand times a day)
"Oh, I'm doing well - just truckin' along!"
I'm so happy about this baby. I'm thrilled to bits that in four days we'll know whether we'll have a daughter or a son in July. I just think I make a terrible pregnant woman.
More Things You Shouldn't Say to a Pregnant Woman:
"Wow! You really look... pregnant!"
"Get lots of sleep now while you still can!"
"You aren't planning to go back to work... are you?"
"You're finding out the sex? Why? Let it be a surprise!"
(Alternately: "You aren't finding out the sex? Why? Are you stupid or something?")