May 31, 2008

32 weeks.

How the time flies.

Had a doctor appointment yesterday and learned something very interesting. Apparently, if one has fat arms, one should not have the nurse use the regular blood pressure cuff because that causes one's blood pressure to skyrocket.

Had I known this a month ago I would have been able to avoid my 24 hour pee adventure. But whatever. Bygones.

So, yeah - BP is perfectly fine, weigh gain seems to be okay as well... 24 lbs in 7 months ain't too bad. Bob was showing off for the doc and kicked up a storm, and his heartbeat was strong.

We start Childbirth Education classes this coming Monday, and because I am a total nerd, I'm excited. Perhaps I will change my mind once we start getting videos to watch.

I have GOT to post a belly picture sometime today. It is beginning to take over the world.

May 29, 2008

Here's the thing:

This baby is going to be the biggest adventure of my life so far. I am ridiculously excited about it. I'm happy, in fact. SO, it would be great if asshole people would stop pointing out that my baby will cry and poop and probably not sleep through the night for a couple of months (or, according to one dipshit non-father, my baby won't sleep through the night for 18 months or so.) Do you think I'm an idiot? That I've been in a bubble? Explain it to me. Does it make you feel good to see my face drop?

Blaming my hormones on my attitude toward you is unacceptable. If you are being an asshole, I will call you on it. Me calling you on it is not a byproduct of my hormones. I am not some crazy irrational girl because I want to be treated like a human being.

I'm going to be a mother and I cannot wait. If you can't be happy and supportive, shut the fuck up. I am TIRED of laughing off the hormone jokes, and the pointing out that I waddle when I walk. YOU try carrying a few extra (um... 20.) pounds across your pelvis and see how YOU walk.

I'm also tired of people being astonished that I am still working. Pregnancy is not terminal. I have two months to go and odds are I'll be working for the majority of that.

Know what's really funny? All the comments that piss me off the most are from men who have no children. In fact, they come from men without a wife or girlfriend. And at this rate, no woman will put up with them.

I am lucky that my pregnancy has gone off without a hitch so far. I am blessed that I wasn't put on bed rest for the last two months of my pregnancy like someone I know. That doesn't mean it's not hard as hell and getting harder. I am roughly the size of a VW bus and I'm constantly amazed that I don't keel forward when I walk.

Please be kind to the pregnant women in your life. Their brains are working overtime on sixty billion things that may have never even floated across the transom of your mind ("Hey! You kicked! Good. You're still alive." "Is this bathwater too hot? Am I boiling you?" "What is that and why is it digging into my spleen?") Be kind to them because no matter how cute you think they look, more than likely they feel the size of form of public transportation. Don't share horrible childbirth stories unless they ask, and even then... maybe cushion the blow a little bit.

I'm not saying you should coddle a pregnant woman - we can sniff out condescension a mile away (must be the hormones.) - all I'm saying is... be kind.

I'm going to go take a bath and hope against hope I don't boil my kid like a Maine lobster.

May 28, 2008

You mean he's not shaped like a basketball?

Bob has a new trick. It includes wedging himself up in the upper right hand corner of my torso and jabbing me with his sharp little knee. At least I think it's a knee.

I'm only just realizing that my kid is indeed not shaped like a basketball. He's pointy and jabby and freaking squirmy as all hell.

I like him, though - and I can't wait to meet him. But we're going to have to discuss this shoving-body-parts-into-Mom's-internal-organs thing.

Another new development: I can no longer bend at the waist. This make sitting awkward, much less picking something up off the ground.

Not being able to bend at the waist is the unfortunate side effect of no longer having a waist. I've always been a biggish girl, but I always had some defined narrowing between the boobs and the junk in the trunk. This no longer exists. I feel more like a tank than ever. My lovely turquoise polo shirt makes me look like the Adriatic Sea.

I think I'll wear black for the rest of the pregnancy.

May 22, 2008

It was worth it.

The epic peeing in a jug was worth it - "No evidence of preeclampsia"


Now, that's not to say I won't ever get it, but I don't have it now. So Bob can stay in there safe and sound for a while longer without killing me.

May 17, 2008

30 Weeks!

Holy crap!

So. 10 weeks left.

I'm doing well. The weather has been amazing lately, so my mood is elevated. I don't have to be bundled up for warmth anymore, which makes me 100% more comfortable than I was through most of the spring. I already have an extra layer of padding, adding on to it with sweaters and hoodies and coats just made me feel lumpier.

My balance is suffering. Now, those of you who have seen me walk in real life know that I've never been terribly successful at it. Go ahead and add to that another 20 lbs, 15 of which seem to be right in front, resting on my pelvis.

I don't just walk into things, I slam into them. I am more tank-like than ever.

The men I work with as looking at me with growing concern. I get asked fairly often "So... when are you done working?". I figure I'll keep going until I can no longer fit behind the counter at the deli. This day is fast approaching, but it ain't here yet. Anyway, it's just the men who aren't fathers who seem to think I will drop to the floor at any moment and give birth in the Spanish wine section.

I'll post a 30 week belly pic today or tomorrow. Probably tomorrow as all I will have to do all day is pee in a jug.

May 13, 2008

Jug o' Pee

Had a doctor appointment today. There's good news and bad news.

The good news is my freak weight gain two weeks ago was a fluke. I'm down 5 lbs from that last weight and the general consensus is indeed a combo of water weight and the lack of calibration in the clinic scales. Bob's heartbeat is strong and lovely. In fact, it sounds like the heart of a man who wants to meet the world exactly on time, if not a few days early.

The bad news is my blood pressure is high. Again. Not quite as high as it was at my last appointment, but the doctor is showing concern about warning signs for preeclampsia. Yeek.

Soooo... I get to give them a 24 hour urine sample! Yes! I get to collect my urine for a full 24 hours and put it in a giant orange jug!

Does anyone realize exactly HOW OFTEN I pee every day?

Other than that, the appointment was just peachy. No one surprised me with a cervical exam, so that's an immediate win over the last time.

May 7, 2008

Welcome, Ellyse Claire!

Yesterday my friend Jade gave birth to a beautiful, perfect baby girl named Ellyse Claire.

This little lady was fashionably late (by about four days), and very nearly drove her mommy bonkers, but I have a feeling that all is forgiven.

Congratulations to the new family!

May 6, 2008

Twenty Eight Weeks, and change.

I think I just look a little pointier in the belly than I did a month ago. Weird, because I feel like a damn tank.

Life is good. The weather is nice, I feel a-OK, and I don't have gestational diabetes! Hooray! The check-up from hell turned out okay!

A little less than 12 weeks left til my due date. I... don't know what to do with this information. The nursery is a shitmess, I don't have a car seat or a stroller or ANYTHING.

These things will be resolved soon, but still. I'm a basket case.